Hello Dear One: 

We have things we want to do, right? And now that I have more time, is the time to do them. Right, again?

We’re 50 and wiser and we have things to do!

So what’s holding me back? I’ll tell you. That darn voice in my head. It is fierce. It just keeps on talking.

But I am More Fierce!

I am determined to do what brings me joy and not be hampered by that never ending “yadda, yadda, yadda.”

This is something that we all have going on, so even though I am teaching about this inner roommate voice in my head, I am constantly responding to it myself as well.

In my course, Gathering at the Table of Joy, we learn that this non-stop mental dialogue is like a teakettle that begins to whistle when the water boils , or, in other words , the energy builds up and needs to be released.But even when there is not buildup, my inner roommate still chatters away. (Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul, 2007).


Why? What for?

This inner roommate helps us feel more comfortable as we navigate our world. We feel a sense of control, false though it is, as we see, label and judge what is around us. This inner roommate is a protection mechanism, a form of defense.


I Listen for This Voice So I Can Move Beyond It

This voice needs to go — goodbye!  Why? Because it distracts me from where I want to go and what I want to do.

My first task is simply to notice when it is there. Next, I breathe out and send those words off into the atmosphere.


Here’s How It Went for Me This Morning

Because noticing and dismissing this inner roommate voice is one my course’s practices, I’m paying more attention to it myself.

I went into the woods this morning to spend some time on this practice.

Here’s the first thing my inner roommate said to me:

Last night, Sammy (my grandaughter), didn’t want to listen to the book I bought two copies of so I could read it to her on Zoom. She wanted to be with me in person. I was SO hurt. She just said “no.” Maybe I could tell her I live so far from her and this is a great way to be together. Maybe I could get her to try it just once and she would see that it’s not that bad.

And then I went back to my breathing and exhaled all of that worry out!

a walk in the woods to calm my inner roommate

But then, another random thought appears. They say we should not believe our thoughts, but it’s not easy when they keep coming at you.

Why is my belly so big?  I know I’m not supposed to hold it in, but there it is, just hanging out there. I did a great job this morning with my meditative time during breakfast, just breathing and chewing and breathing and chewing. And I sure hope this works better than all those diets that never work. And why do I have to keep thinking about my belly anyway?

And then I went back to my breathing and exhaled all that non-stop nonsense out into the trees.

a walk in the woods to calm my inner roommate

But then, thoughts popped into my head about the dream I had last night.

I dreamt that I had a meeting with a well-known personal growth coach and she suggested I come work with her and get a coaching certification. But I told her that I didn’t want to coach people one by one in person, I wanted to develop online programs. She told me she could help me do that too! But I started to ask myself why in the world I would want to do that?

And then I went back to my breathing and exhaled out all those confused and jumbled thoughts.

I reminded myself that this is my time to connect with my spirit and my body, not with my runaway mind. So, I took several deep deep breaths and I actually felt better.

The Funny Thing is That This Inner Roommate

Thing is Completely Normal

Our work is to learn to notice these thought and dismiss them by connecting to our breath.

Gradually, as I walked, the voices receded a bit and my breath took over. But really, my inner roommate is never completely gone.

This is an ongoing practice and we get more comfortable with it over time. In fact, if I notice that this is a lot of chatter going on in my head, I try to slow down and ask myself why the teakettle is about to boil.  

Walks in the forest are great and so is slow, deliberate, breath-filled movement. I have a course I developed so that you can move your body while noticing your mind. I think you might like it! 

The practice is under 35 minutes and it costs only 25 dollars.

Here’s the link:



Do the course and let me know how you got along with your inner roommate!


Love and Gratitude,





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