Hello Dear One:
AnnMerle, the Worry Meister
My fifth-grade teacher called me a “worry wort.” And growing older didn’t help me lose that designation.
I was well past 50 on the first day of Ana Forrest’s yoga teacher training (along with 30 other much younger folks) at Moksha Yoga in Chicago. We were going around the room and introducing ourselves. I don’t even remember what I said or how I Iooked, but she immediately had my number. In the context of her welcoming response, she called me a “worry meister.”
But now, at age 67, I am determined to learn how to find the joy in events and not the worry.
Worry, I have come to understand, is a feature of control. Or to put it more clearly, I worry because I really want to control everything around me, but another part of me knows that I can’t.
If you were to ask me, “How’s that working out for you?” I’d have to reply, “Not well at all.”
Worry keeps me stuck in my own rapidly spinning vortex and things don’t get better; they just get worse.
Climbing Out of the Vortex
But the good news is that I am learning how to shift my perspective. First, I recognized how tightly worry was connected to control. And then, I realized that the impulse to control was creating more and more stress in my body. Stress, in turn, was creating tense muscles, inflammation, headaches, and innumerable other symptoms.
I am slowly, but steadily, climbing out of my vortex. What has helped?
First, simply realizing that, at this age, I’d better get where I want to be because time is running out. Brene Brown pointed out that when the universe sends you a text, you need to listen.
Next, I find it very helpful to imagine that there is a creator in this world who is in control. I know that might sound strange, but I have actually felt great relief by imagining (even if I can’t quite get to belief) that I am not in charge of every little thing.
Finally, if I let go of worry, there will be more room for joy. Steve Emmerman, my first real yoga teacher, always used to say that our bodies love to hold onto worry and the joy just fizzes away.
I’m making a concerted effort over the next month to bring in joy and hold onto it.
Taking A Break From Blogging
For that reason, I’m going to take a break from blogging (not that blogging is the source of worrying!) so that I have more time to bring on the joy!
Here’s a photo of my Mom and me on our first cruise together.
As you receive and open this blog, I’ll be with my Mom on a cruise, stopping in Key West, Florida on the way to the Bahamas. Then, I will come back and stay with her in Delray Beach, Florida for a few days until many family members arrive to stay together at a rented house to celebrate some, hopefully warm weather, the birth of my new grandson, and just the fun of hanging out together.
I look forward to picking up where I left off in 2019 with more joy and less worry and I wish the same for you!
Love and Gratitude,
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